


This is Stupid, We're Married

by Anw



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/F, Fluff and Smut, i got carried away, i once again wrote this instead of coping, this is like a modern princess au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:15:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26270245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anw/pseuds/Anw
Summary: Trixie and Katya's parents are successful business owners of two competing companies. Rather than risking their businesses with competition, they arrange for Trixie and Katya to get married. Neither one particularly likes the idea, until they meet the person they're marrying.
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 43
Kudos: 140





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FarrahGone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarrahGone/gifts).



> Hello!! Are all of my fics written for my wife at this point? The answer is yes. She gave me a few prompts a while ago to get my inspiration going, and one of them was "Katya and Trixie are arranged to be married. The gag is neither of them complains (it’s freeform from here but they’re like, so hot for each other)" My first thought was princesses, but I don't have the skills for that kind of period piece, so I wrote this instead. It turned out way longer than I anticipated and I'm pretty sure it's more for me than her at this point, but I still hope you enjoy this babe! Also I love you and am so glad you can read this now, it's been killing me! 
> 
> I decided to post this in multiple chapters, the whole thing is already written, so don't worry about that, I'll update once a week (mostly just to make my wife mad at me), so enjoy!

The Zamolodchikova house is massive, Trixie feels insignificant standing in front of its looming facade, waiting for someone to answer the imposing wooden door. She begrudgingly came to this meeting after her parents all but blackmailed her into doing so. She would rather be anywhere else, but her parents are set in stone on this, she is going to get married whether she likes it or not. She very much does not like it. She’s been dreaming about true love and fairytale weddings since she was a child. She wants to be swept off of her feet by her princess charming, not pawned off to a stranger for her parents’ benefit like some medieval princess. 

She still can’t believe that her parents are making her do this. She’s in disbelief that her parents are willing to make their only daughter marry a stranger just for the sake of their business. Trixie doesn’t even want to work for her parents’ company anyway, but she can’t disobey them, not without them disowning her. 

Her father takes the ornate metal door knocker in his hand again, slamming it against the door a few more times when there is no answer. A minute later, a gray haired man finally opens the door, he has a large smile on his face but it doesn’t seem forced, he seems genuinely happy to have them in his home. Trixie feels a little better knowing that the family she’s marrying into isn’t as fake or nasty as some of the other families her parents have introduced her to. 

“Hello,” he says, Trixie immediately noticing that his accent is distinctly not American, “you must be the Mattel’s?” 

“I’m John Mattel, this is my wife Claudia,” her father says, sticking out his hand to give Mr. Zamolodchikova a firm handshake. “And this,” he continues, putting his hand on the small of Trixie’s back in the way she hates, pushing her to the front, “is our daughter Beatrice.” 

Trixie hates everything about this, she feels like she’s being presented and sold like a piece of meat, not like she’s their daughter that they should love and care about being happy. 

Mr. Zamolodchikova sticks out his hand to shake and Trixie begrudgingly takes it, trying and mostly failing to hide her disgust when the man lifts her hand to his face and gives it a peck with his lips. 

“Nice to meet you,” he says, still smiling, Trixie briefly wonders if he ever stops. 

Before Trixie has to respond, a woman walks up to the door from inside the house, “Dimitri, invite them in,” she says to the man, this must be Mrs. Zamolodchikova. 

“Of course, of course, come in,” he ushers them in, holding the large door open wide. 

Trixie immediately looks around the house, the front of the house doesn’t even compare to the size of the interior, the ceilings are higher than anyone could ever reach, they have lush carpets laid out of the floors, and there’s decorations on every surface, all ornate but a bit odd in their own ways. She’s still looking around, her jaw hanging open slightly when she hears quick footsteps bounding down the curved staircase on the far end of the foyer. 

“Who was at the door?” the person calls from across the hall. 

“Indoor voice, Katenka,” Mrs. Zamolodchikova scolds her, “we have company.” 

The woman finally makes it to the bottom of the stairs and joins her parents, she looks each of the Mattel’s up and down, leaving Trixie for last, letting her eyes linger a bit longer than they did on her parents, “so you’re my future wife,” she says, “not bad.” 

“Yekaterina,” her mother scolds again, her voice firm as she hits her daughter on the arm, speaking to her quickly in a language Trixie doesn’t know. 

Trixie suppresses a smile, at least she’s marrying someone with a sense of humor (and good taste) and not another one of the boring twenty something year olds she meets at her parents parties that have no personality or ambition beyond working for their families. 

“Sorry,” Yekaterina says, rolling her eyes slightly, “what I meant to say is, you look lovely,” she says, a touch of sarcasm in her tone. 

Trixie can’t hold back her smile at this point, “you look good too,” she answers back. She doesn’t even have to lie, the woman is beautiful, she has long wavy blonde hair, blue eyes that are shimmering in the chandelier light, and the biggest brightest smile Trixie has ever seen. Trixie lets her eyes roam over the woman’s body the way she had done to Trixie earlier, before bring her eyes back up to meet the woman’s blue ones. 

Yekaterina smirks at her, gives her a wink, and Trixie feels herself flush. Her ears feel full, like she’s underwater, this already isn’t going the way she expected it to. She doesn’t hear what’s being spoken around her anymore, but she follows the group in through a doorway into a large room with a long wooden table in it, takes a seat on the far side with her parents, facing the other family. 

Yekaterina is sitting directly across from her, and her eyes are locked on Trixie, clearly not interested in the conversation their parents are having. Trixie isn’t interested in it either, she’s only here to please her parents, but that doesn’t mean she has to get involved with the business dealings going on. 

Trixie tries to at least pretend to be paying attention, zoning in and out of the conversation, picking up only pieces of what they’re discussing. Every time she looks toward Yekaterina, she’s making some weird face, and every time Trixie has to bite back her loud laugh, getting looks from her mother when she makes a strangled noise from trying to keep her laughter at bay. Katya looks pleased by the reactions she’s getting from Trixie which only encourages her to pull weirder and weirder faces. 

About an hour into the meeting, Trixie feels something hit her leg under the table, she glances under the table, wondering if they have a dog crawling around, or maybe a cat, they seem like maybe they’re cat people. She doesn’t find anything under the table, so she tunes back in, catching something about integration and profit before tuning back out. A few seconds later, she feels a kick on her leg again, this time looking around at the people at the table, she sees Yekatrina biting back a grin, trying to look nonchalant. Trixie rolls her eyes and kicks her leg out to give Yekaterina a kick in return. The woman jumps in her seat, causing the eyes of everyone at the table to look at her, she mutters an apology, blushing slightly and Trixie is struggling to maintain her composure. 

Their parents resume conversation and Yekaterina glares at her across the table. Trixie winks at her, satisfied to be giving her a taste of her own medicine. All of the sudden, Yekaterina jumps up from her seat abruptly, all eyes turning to her once again. 

“I just remembered I have something to give Beatrice,” she rattles out, seeming more nervous than Trixie has seen her all day. 

Mrs. Zamolodchikova sighs tiredly, “why don’t you go get it for her dear.” 

“Actually,” she pushes out, “can you come with me Beatrice?” 

Trixie’s eyes go wide, she wasn’t expecting to be alone with her future wife today. Yekaterina is trying to signal to her with her eyes it seems and Trixie stutters out, “sure,” before she gets up to follow the blonde out of the room. Yekaterina leads her up the staircase Trixie watched her bound down earlier, she’s curious to see what the second floor looks like, and even more curious to see the gift this woman has for her. She has a brief moment of embarrassment and guilt that she didn’t bring a gift of her own, she didn’t know she needed to. 

They reach a closed door at the end of the hall and Katya twists the crystal doorknob, pushing the door open for them to enter. The room is large, it has a four poster bed right in the middle, the whole room is dark wood and red, rich in color and texture, it’s so far from Trixie’s taste but it feels comfortable. 

Yekaterina stops and spins around to face Trixie, “okay I lied,” she says, sounding nervous again, “I don’t have a gift for you I was just so fucking bored and needed to get out of there and thought you maybe wanted to leave too,” she explains. Trixie feels relief that she wasn’t meant to bring a gift after all. 

“Thank god,” Trixie sighs with relief, “I was losing my mind in there.” 

Katya smiles at her, pleased that she wasn’t the only one suffering through the meeting, “how long do you think we can hide up here?” 

“Wouldn’t want them to think we’re ruining the sanctity of marriage before the wedding, so I’d say...fifteen minutes?” Trixie answers back, hoping her joking tone comes across. 

Katya wheezes, her laugh is mostly air and Trixie is infatuated by it. “Are you telling me your parents think you’re a virgin?” 

“Are you saying you don’t believe that I am?” Trixie smirks. She isn’t a virgin, not by a long shot, hasn’t been for some years, but she wants to throw Yekaterina off her game, strip away some of her smugness. 

“Oh,” Yekaterina says, she looks worried now, like she’s offended Trixie and doesn’t know what to do, “I didn’t mean-” she leaves her sentence hanging, not knowing how to continue. 

“I’m messing with you,” Trixie puts her out of her misery, laughing loudly at her own joke. 

Yekaterina shakes her head, her smile returning to her face, “you’re a bitch,” she says, making Trixie laugh even louder. 

“Guilty,” Trixie says when she calms down a little more. 

“Well Beatrice,” Yekaterina says, “I’m glad my parents have at least set me up with someone with a sense of humor.” 

“Ugh, please call me Trixie, I hate Beatrice, it sounds like I’m someone’s weird aunt,” Trixie tells her. 

Katya wheezes again, and Trixie loves how easy it is to make her laugh. “Only if you call me Katya, I can’t listen to another of you American capitalists butcher the name from my motherland,” Katya replies. 

She laughs at that, confused by Katya’s odd sense of humor. Trixie checks her watch, seeing that they’ve been up here for quite a while, “we should probably get back before our parents think we’ve escaped.” 

Katya hums, following Trixie out the door. Trixie makes it to the hallways before Katya shouts, “wait!” too loudly for the distance between them. Trixie turns around, confused, and cocks her eyebrow up at Katya. “I told them I was giving you a gift, we can’t go down there empty handed,” she explains her outburst. 

Trixie nods, “right, what’s the gift then?” 

Katya goes back into her room, searches around all the clutter on her desk and dresser, looking for something that would be suitable as a gift for your soon to be wife. “Aha!” she exclaims, “turn around.” 

Trixie turns around hesitantly, waiting curiously for what Katya is going to do next. She feels Katya’s hands come around the sides of her neck and feels something cold touch her neck gently. She looks down to see that Katya has wrapped a necklace around her neck, trying to fasten it in the back. It’s a delicate necklace, a swirling pattern made out of metal with a couple of tiny pink stones in it. 

“It’s beautiful,” Trixie says, turning around when Katya finishes putting the necklace on her. 

“Don’t be too flattered,” Katya says, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly, “my friend gave it to me for my birthday, she thought the stones were red and that it would be perfect for me, but it doesn’t match anything I own.” 

“Well it matches me perfectly,” Trixie reassures her, “thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Katya says. They both stand there in silence for a while, neither one moving or saying anything. 

“We should probably,” Trixie points toward the door, breaking the silence and reminding them both that their parents are still downstairs waiting for them. 

“Right,” Katya says, tearing her gaze away from Trixie, and leading the way out of the door and back downstairs. 

They walk back into the dining room which is still suffocating with the conversation going on. Their parents look at them when they enter the room, Trixie feels awkward, doesn’t know how to navigate this situation anymore. She thought she would just have to suffer through this and learn to tolerate the boring woman she was going to be forced to married until it eventually ended in a divorce, but Trixie actually likes Katya, could actually imagine a world where this marriage actually works and she doesn’t know how to cope with that, especially not when the parents she was angry with just hours before are looking at her with so much hope in their eyes. 

“What did Yekaterina give you, dear?” her mom asks, butchering Katya’s name. She sees Katya wince a little at the mispronunciation and thinks back to Katya’s statement earlier, glad she didn’t try to say her longer Russian name when they were alone. 

Trixie can’t seem to get any words out, instead gently lifting the necklace off her chest, holding it out for her mother to see. 

“Oh,” her mother gasps gently, “that’s beautiful, you have lovely taste, dear,” she directs at Katya, not attempting to say her name again. 

“Thank you,” Katya replies curtly, winking at Trixie again who’s still left standing, feeling flustered. Trixie blushes again, hoping that Katya won’t make her feel like a blushing teenager for long. She moves to take her seat and sits back down, settling in to zone out for the rest of this meeting. 

Trixie lost track of how long they’ve been sitting here. Every once in a while when she feels herself starting to nod off, too bored to stay awake any longer, she feels Katya kick her under the table, she’s grateful for the other woman keeping her awake, even if it is frustrating to be pulled from sleep so many times. 

She feels a particularly hard kick on her leg, and she turns to look at Katya who just finished saying something, and Trixie has no idea what’s going on or why they’re suddenly being expected to participate in the discussion. 

“Beatrice?” her mom asks, turning toward her. 

“I’m sorry, what are we talking about?” she asks, her face red in embarrassment. Katya snorts from across the table, amused by Trixie’s flustered state and Trixie shoots her a glare. 

Her mom sighs quietly, “we were discussing wedding dates, how does March 18th sound?” 

“What?” Trixie exclaims, her voice rising slightly in surprise, “but that’s in two weeks!” 

She hears Katya snickering again, and she looks at her incredulously, wondering how she seems so okay with this. 

“Is that a problem?” Mr. Zamolodchikova asks, “we don’t see a reason to delay longer than we have to.” 

“No it’s...fine,” Trixie replies, “I just wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon.” 

“Okay, well, we have the date settled,” her father states, taking charge, “you two need to spend some time together before the wedding,” he points toward Trixie and Katya. 

Katya is smirking at her again when she makes eye contact with her, “it would be my pleasure,” she says, again with a teasing lilt to her voice. 

“I think that’s all for now, don’t you Dimitri?” her father questions, seeking an end to their hours long conversation. 

“I believe so,” Dimitri agrees, standing from his seat and reaching his hand out toward Trixie’s father for another handshake. After everyone shakes everyone’s hands, they all make their way back to the extravagant foyer. Before Trixie is able to follow her parents out the door, Katya tugs her back by her hand, quickly spinning her around and planting a kiss on her cheek. 

“I’ll see you soon,” she whispers quietly, her hot breath tickling Trixie’s ear. 

Trixie feels herself blushing again, and she has to force herself to move away from Katya and leave the building, ignoring the way her parents are looking at her hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie and Katya go on their first date.....kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you to anyone that read this, it means a lot! This chapter is a bit longer than the last one, I had a lot of fun writing it so I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Again a special thank you to [FarrahGone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarrahGone/pseuds/FarrahGone) who is always there for me and is my biggest supporter, I love you! She also didn't edit this since it's a surprise for her so I apologize for any mistakes!

It took less than a few hours after the initial meeting before Katya had managed to get Trixie’s phone number and send her a text to arrange a meeting the following day. Trixie had to suppress her giddiness at seeing the girl again so soon, and this time without their parents. She fought herself from smiling for the rest of the night, not wanting her parents to see that she wasn’t all that upset about the arrangement anymore, not after she had to deal with them telling her they told her so and that she should be glad she’s getting married the entire car ride home. She hates that she’s starting to think they were right. She no longer feels a sense of dread when she thinks about getting married. Sure, she just met Katya and she hardly knows her and it’s definitely far too soon to say she’s ready to marry her, but she likes Katya and she could see them dating if the circumstances were different. 

It’s the middle of the next day when she hears the doorbell ring, racing down the stairs to make sure her parents don’t get there first. 

“I got it!” she yells on her way down the stairs, blowing past her mother who was about to answer the door. 

She opens the door to reveal Katya, looking even more beautiful than Trixie remembered in a long loose skirt with a, frankly, ugly pattern, and a clashing blouse tucked into the waistband. It should look absolutely awful, but for some reason it works on her. A smile immediately blooms on Trixie’s face when she sees the shorter woman, taking in the beautiful bouquet of flowers she has in her arms, full of pinks and small hints of white and yellow. 

“Sorry I’m early,” Katya says, “I just couldn’t wait to see you again,” her smirk is back and Trixie is equal parts annoyed and turned on by it. “Oh, and these are for you,” she adds, her smirk fading into an unsure smile. 

Trixie rolls her eyes at the cheesy line, betrayed by the smile on her face, “it’s fine, you’ll just have to wait for me to finish getting ready.” Trixie takes the flowers from the other woman, bringing them up to her nose to smell them and hide the blush that seems to be a permanent fixture when in Katya’s presence, “these are beautiful, thank you.” 

Katya’s smile softens at that, relieved that the other girl liked the flowers, but before she can respond she’s interrupted. “Hello dear, good to see you again,” her mom directs at Katya, peaking her head around the door to make herself known to their guest. 

“Nice to see you too, Mrs. Mattel,” Katya responds, Trixie is a little surprised to hear her so polite and cordial. 

“Oh those are beautiful, did Katya bring those for you sweetie?” Trixie’s mom gushes, reaching out to take the flowers from her daughter. 

Trixie stops herself from rolling her eyes, nods her head even though she knows her mom heard their entire interaction already and knows that Katya just gave her those flowers. 

Her mother smiles, and before she can speak again Trixie says, “we were just about to go upstairs, I need to finish getting ready,” grabbing Katya by the hand and dragging her upstairs before her mother can argue. 

“Someone’s eager to show me their room,” Katya teases. 

“More like eager to get away from my mother,” Trixie retorts, her disdain seeping into her tone.

“Why’s that?” Katya questions, clearly missing something. 

They reach Trixie’s room and Trixie lets Katya step inside first. The shorter blonde is standing in the middle of the room, looking around to try and take it all in. The room is decorated with all of Trixie’s favorite things, there’s makeup covering her entire vanity, a closet full of all of her dresses, her bed is large, with a thick pink comforter and tons of fluffy pillows, it’s cozy, but it also looks like a doll house. Katya is a bit in awe of the room, she turns to focus on Trixie instead, “it’s very...pink.” 

“Is that a problem?” Trixie asks defensively, she’s used to people thinking less of her for her overt display of traditional femininity and she’s ready to defend the honor of her favorite color, even to her future wife. 

“No, not at all,” Katya rushes, not wanting to offend Trixie, “it actually really suits you,” she looks Trixie up and down at that, taking in her full look, she’s wearing a bubblegum pink skirt with a white blouse and eye makeup to match, she fits in perfectly with her surroundings, the room is unmistakably hers. It does, however, make Katya fear for their future home, and she makes a mental note to not allow Trixie to take control of the interior decorating. 

Trixie hums, walking back over to her vanity and sitting down to put the finishing touches on her makeup. Katya flops down on her bed, clearly not uncomfortable with the fact that she’s in a stranger’s home, and sprawls out carelessly. Trixie briefly wonders how Katya manages to look so perfect when she has no care about messing up her hair or makeup, not sure if she’s jealous or in awe of how Katya can flop around and not make herself look disheveled. 

“So,” Katya starts, continuing her question from earlier, “you don’t get along with your mother?” 

Trixie groans, “it’s not that we don’t get along, she’s just so smug about the fact that I don’t hate you.” 

“Should I be offended?” Katya snorts, not actually offended, but confused where this is going. And maybe a little offended. Of course, she wasn’t thrilled about getting married either when her parents told her the plan, but she didn’t think she would be that awful to be married to. 

“I didn’t want to do this,” Trixie trails off, feeling suddenly uncomfortable about telling Katya she didn’t want to get married less than twenty four hours ago. She doesn’t want to make the other woman feel bad, especially not now that they’ve met and actually get along well. 

“Do what?” Katya questions, not picking up one what Trixie is trying to say, and starting to pick at her nails as she feels nerves rising up to her throat. 

Trixie takes a deep breath to recenter herself, preparing herself for what she thinks may be an awkward conversation, “I didn’t want to get married,” she chokes out, her eyes closed to not see the reaction of the woman on her bed. 

“Oh,” Katya states simply, that wasn’t what she was expecting, “well why are you then?” she asks easily, she doesn’t sound hurt, just genuinely curious. 

“My parents want me to, I can’t let them down,” Trixie replies, her voice getting a bit smaller. 

Katya hums, observes Trixie through the mirror for a second. “Well, I’m glad you don’t hate me,” Katya says with an uncomfortable smile, trying to lighten the mood, “besides, it’s not like it has to mean much.” 

Trixie halts her movements, looking back at Katya through the mirror, she cocks her head to the side, confused, “what do you mean?” Trixie’s stomach is starting to bubble again, a feeling of dread washing over her as she tries to understand what her fiance is suggesting. 

“I mean,” she starts, sitting up to emphasize her words more, “this is an arranged marriage, we hardly know each other, we’re doing this for our parents and their businesses,” she states, gesturing between the two of them, she trails off, hoping that Trixie will be able to fill in the rest of her sentence for herself.

“So?” Trixie questions, wanting Katya to explain so that she doesn’t jump to any conclusions. She wants Katya to be the one to say it, doesn’t want to be the one to make any suggestions she can’t take back. 

“So, it doesn’t have to mean much, just because we get married doesn’t mean we have to be together, you know what I’m saying?” Katya still looks uncomfortable, shifting around where she’s sitting on the bed, her hands tucked under her thighs. 

Trixie freezes again, maybe Katya isn’t as into her as she thought. “So you’re gonna cheat on me?” she asks, hoping her insecurity isn’t too obvious, but her tone comes out harsher than she wanted, the question not sounding like a teasing joke the way she intended it to. 

Katya smirks inwardly at that, “no, I’m just suggesting we have an open relationship, that way you don’t have to be upset that you’re tied down because you won’t be, and I can keep sleeping around in peace.” 

“Oh,” Trixie is finding it hard to say more than that. She had never considered that maybe Katya didn’t want to get married either. Just when she was getting excited for this marriage, she finds out her future wife is hardly going to be her wife at all. She tries to fight the disappointment and heartbreak she feels in her chest, but is unsuccessful, feeling it settle heavy on her lungs and heart. 

“Is that a problem?” Katya sounds unsure, she thought this would make Trixie happy, but Trixie’s making it hard to read her emotions. “Because if you’re uncomfortable-” 

“No,” she Trixie firmly, interrupting Katya’s backtracking. She resumes her makeup, finishing it quickly, she doesn’t feel the need to look as good as possible anymore, not now that her mood has soured and her outlook on the situation has changed once again. 

“Alright then,” Katya says, uncharacteristically quiet as she lets herself fall back onto the bed in her same gangly position. 

The atmosphere of the room has grown tense, and Trixie stands up to put her shoes on and grab her bag, Katya follows her lead and rises from her place sprawled out on Trixie’s bed, following her out of the room wordlessly. Trixie calls out to her mom, letting her know they’re leaving and opens the door for Katya. 

“So, where are we going?” Trixie asks, trying to make this at least tolerable for them now that their dynamic has been thrown off. 

“I was thinking we could go rob a bank? Maybe steal a car?” Katya jokes, it half works in making the air between them feel less harsh. Trixie tries hard to soften her demeanor, not be so harsh toward Katya when she hasn’t actually done anything wrong. 

“Ha ha,” Trixie replies dryly, rolling her eyes playfully, “seriously, where are we going?” 

“What? You don’t think I’m a good enough get away driver?” Katya keeps going, “I’ll have you know that I know precisely three of the rules of driving.” 

Trixie laughs a little at that, “which three?” she questions, actually curious if the other woman has an answer. 

“Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means don’t get caught, but still go,” Katya deadpans, fighting back laughter at her own joke. 

Trixie halts her movements, suddenly nervous to be in the car with a clearly insane person, “please tell me you’re joking.” 

Katya laughs, and Trixie feels a spark of something in her chest at the wheezy noise that she finds so endearing, “You’re just gonna have to get in the car and see,” Katya winks at her, pulling open the passenger side door for Trixie to get inside. 

Trixie gets into the car hesitantly, making sure her seat belt is locked in place. Katya gets into the driver's seat, turning the car on and plugging her phone in, putting on what Trixie can only describe as Russian noise. Before Trixie can comment on the horrible music coming from the speakers, Katya pulls out of the driveway with an alarming speed.

“Jesus christ,” Trixie exclaims unintentionally, her hand reaching up to hold onto the handle hanging above the door. She was hoping Katya was just joking earlier, but she truly doesn’t care about the driving laws, at least not the ones pertaining to speed or stopping if the four stop signs she just sped past are any indication. 

Katya wheezes at her fear, reaching over to pat her on the thigh comfortingly, squeezing gently in a way she hopes is calming and resting it there. Trixie would have been distracted by her warm palm on her bare skin if it weren’t for the fact that she is terrified and that she would much rather prefer Katya to have both hands on the wheel. The rest of the ride is filled with Katya singing along to the music badly and Trixie trying to calm herself down as each turn makes her body shift more and more harshly where she’s seated. They finally reach their destination and Trixie opens her eyes, not realizing they had been screwed shut for the last part of the ride. 

“We’re here, Barbie,” Katya says, wheezing again at Trixie’s rigid form next to her, she turns the car off and opens her door to get out, walking to the other side of the car to open the door and let Trixie out. 

Trixie pulls off her seat belt and exits the car, dropping onto her knees and pretending to kiss the pavement, “oh thank god, I never thought I’d see you again,” she says dramatically to the pavement, leaning down and pretending to kiss the ground beneath her. 

“Come on I’m not _that_ bad at driving,” Katya scoffs, but she’s smiling clearly knowing that she is in fact that bad at driving. 

“I saw my entire life flash before my eyes, I don’t even believe in God and I could hear him telling me this was it.” 

Katya wheezes, her laughs turning into a cough when she can’t control herself, Trixie finds it endlessly endearing, then she snaps herself out of her smitten thoughts when she remembers what Katya said earlier. 

“Alright drama queen, let’s go,” Katya says, pulling Trixie up and taking her hand to drag her toward the building they parked outside of. The outside is large but nondescript, and it reminds Trixie that she doesn’t actually know where they are. 

“Where are we anyway? You never told me,” Trixie questions 

Katya smiles at her in a way that makes Trixie worry, pulling her closer to the building and into the double doors. Trixie takes in her surroundings, seeing arcade games everywhere, it’s dark and there’s kids running around, it is far too loud, and Trixie is not too happy to be here. 

“Katya,” she says slowly, trying to conceal her disdain at their surroundings, “did you take me to an arcade?” 

“Yes!” Katya answers, bouncing on the balls of her feet and shaking the hand that is still holding onto Trixie’s up and down. 

“Are you a middle school boy? You took me on a first date to Chuck E Cheese?” Trixie teases her, she feels bad that Katya is so pleased with her horrible idea for a date, but not bad enough to hold back her pointed jokes once she remembers that this isn’t even a real date. 

“Hey,” Katya yells, “arcades are amazing, we can play skee ball, I’ll win you a prize and everything,” Katya defends herself, she’s still bouncing on her feet, clearly excited to be here and Trixie finds it endearing, feels a little bad for making fun of Katya’s date idea. 

Trixie sighs a little, “fine,” she relents, “but only if you win me that octopus up there,” she points toward the prize table. 

“You would pick the pinkest thing they have,” Katya teases, “come on let’s go!” she takes Trixie’s hand again, pulling her quickly toward the counter to get tokens for the games. She has the energy of the kids surrounding her, moving quickly between the games and maneuvering them past the sticky children that are running around. 

The employee behind the counter gives them a big cup with their tokens, he looks at them a little strangely for being two grown adults in a place clearly meant for kids, but Katya seems unbothered, thanking him brightly and dragging Trixie to the far wall where the skee ball lanes are. 

It quickly becomes apparent that Katya is bad at skee ball. Like hilariously bad. Trixie’s cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing at the smaller woman getting more and more frustrated at the game, she launches all of her balls way too hard, and they hit the back and fall into the slot with the lowest score, a couple of times they even fly over the edge coming back to Katya where they started. Everytime she manages to land in the lowest slot again, she huffs, getting more and more frustrated. 

“When was the last time you played skee ball?” Trixie asks, wondering why she was so excited to play when she is clearly not good at it. 

Katya blushes a little at that, looking away from Trixie, “I’ve never actually played before,” she mumbles under her breath. Trixie may have missed it if she didn’t have her entire focus on Katya for the entire night already. 

Trixie pauses for a second to take that in before she breaks out into a screeching laughter, startling the kids that are playing a couple lanes down from them. “Why did you take me here then?” she asks through her laughter, unable to stop laughing at Katya who is now pouting at her, her cheeks stained in an embarrassed blush. 

“It always looks so fun in the movies,” she says, looking down to try to hide her embarrassment. Trixie’s stomach flips at the sight, Katya is blushing and she looks so small and Trixie has to fight the urge to hold her in her arms. 

Trixie laughs again at that, feeling her heart clench when she remembers that Katya doesn’t want to be held by her, that she can’t reach out and stroke her rosy cheeks the way she wants to. 

“Come on, lets go,” Trixie says, pulling Katya by the hand out of the building. 

“But your octopus!” Katya yells. 

“I don’t need it,” Trixie replies, continuing to pull Katya along until they’re back outside. The sun has set now and the air has cooled down significantly, filling their lungs with fresh air after their time spent inside the stuffy arcade. 

“What do we do now?” Katya asks. 

Trixie shrugs, she hadn’t thought about it, “we could get something to eat?” 

“Hop in,” Katya points to her car, smirking as Trixie groans, realizing she has to deal with Katya’s reckless driving all over again. She gets into the car and waits for Katya to get into the drivers seat before she does the sign of the cross over herself. Katya laughs loudly, rolling her eyes, “I thought you didn’t believe in God.” 

“I don’t, but with your driving I need all the help I can get,” Trixie responds, buckling her seat belt and holding on again, bracing herself for Katya to start her reckless driving again. 

They end up at a pizza shop, making it there in one piece, thankfully, and they order a pizza to share. “Why did you order a vegetable pizza with me if you were just going to pick all the vegetables off?” Trixie asks, watching as Katya meticulously removes every topping from the slice of pizza until there’s nothing left but cheese. 

“Because that’s what you wanted,” she replies simply, shrugging her shoulders but not looking up from her task. 

Trixie feels her stomach flutter at that, forgetting for a second that this isn’t an actual date, that Katya doesn’t actually want to be with her, as a girlfriend or a wife. She feels the disappointment settle in again and curses Katya for being so cute and considerate on a date that isn’t even a date. A part of her wishes that she was marrying someone that she didn’t like, just so she didn’t have to face this kind of rejection. 

They enjoy their pizza in a comfortable silence, both more hungry than they realized, and they finish the pizza in no time. By the time they decide to leave, it’s late. 

Katya pays for the pizza and comes back to the table. “You ready to go?” she asks, fighting back a yawn. 

Trixie nods and stands up, following Katya back out to the car. Katya’s driving isn’t as reckless this time around, she’s tired out from the day and doesn’t want to stress Trixie out anymore than she already has. She pulls into Trixie’s driveway and Trixie hesitates getting out of the car, feeling like she’s forgetting something. 

“Thanks for taking me out,” Trixie says quietly, the air in the car feels fragile, like if she speaks too loudly it will shatter. 

“It was my pleasure,” Katya smiles at her, she’s talking softly too, and it makes it feel like they’re the only people that exist at that moment, “sorry I took you to an arcade and then didn’t win you a prize.” 

Trixie giggles at that, “yeah we’re never doing that again.” 

“Deal,” Katya agrees, still smiling at Trixie. 

They both linger in the car, looking at each other. It feels like they’re missing something. Katya’s eyes flicker down to Trixie’s lips so quickly that Trixie thinks she must have imagined it. “Bye,” she says, it comes out harsher than she intended, too loud, and it disturbs whatever moment they just found themselves in. She opens the door, climbing out before Katya can reply. Katya waits until she’s in the door to pull out of the driveway and drive away and Trixie watches her go. 

“Good date?” she hears her mom ask behind her, she turns around to once again see her mother’s smug smile. 

Trixie rolls her eyes, and heads upstairs, she’s ready to go to bed and she doesn’t want to talk to her mom about the complicated feelings she has about this whole day. She lies awake for a while thinking about the day, wishing Katya felt the spark between them the way she did, that the date could’ve been real. She wishes that she never agreed to this, that she wasn’t getting married. She wishes that her and Katya could’ve met in a different way, that they could have had a real shot at a relationship outside of the pressure from their families. 

She imagines a scenario where they weren’t in this position, where they could have just been two strangers meeting organically and hitting it off. She imagines all the scenarios they could have met in, cutting her brain off every time before it gets to a dangerous place, she doesn’t want to let herself feel too much. She falls asleep with her stomach in knots, worried about her growing feelings for the woman she is about to marry, worried about how she’s going to marry someone that doesn’t even want to date her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you wanna leave me a comment or come talk to me, please do you can also find me on tumblr [@dykegoblins!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dykegoblins)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rehearsal and the wedding day pass by as Trixie continues to spiral in the confusing situation she finds herself in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter started out pretty short in comparison to the others, and when I went to edit it, I ended up realizing that there was more I wanted to add and now it has become longer than the first or second, so enjoy this slightly longer chapter! 
> 
> As always, thank you to [FarrahGone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarrahGone) for being the absolute best and for constantly encouraging me, I love you!

After their non-date, Trixie had fallen into a slum of sorts, she was stuck between her desire to get to know Katya more, to develop some sort of relationship with her soon to be bride, and her need to push her away as far as possible in order to protect herself from the inevitable heartbreak she knows would follow letting herself fall for the other woman. She spent the following days moping around and feeling sorry for herself before she realized she was mourning the loss of a relationship she had never even been in, then she just felt like an idiot. 

She’d successfully managed to avoid both Katya and her parents, until her mom managed to corner her in her own room. She heard a knock on the door, groaning and sitting up in her bed that she had created a nest of blankets in over the course of the week, “come in,” she calls out begrudgingly. 

Her mom pops her head in, the rest of her body following when she sees Trixie isn’t at all busy. “Hi honey,” she greets warmly, and if it weren’t for the fact that Trixie knows when she is being buttered up, she would have smiled at the warmth, “how are you?” 

Trixie narrows her eyes at the older woman. It’s not that her parents are awful or that she doesn’t like them, she loves her parents, she really does, but they have also never been the kind of people to have a conversation about their days as a family. She can’t remember the last time her and her mom made small talk, all of their conversations had some kind of purpose, some kind of end goal. “I’m fine,” she says slowly, carefully, sizing the situation up. 

“That’s good,” her mother replies before falling suspiciously quiet. 

Trixie lets the silence linger, fill the cracks of the room until it becomes awkward, unbearable. She clears her throat gently, “and you? Uh, how are you?” she asks and immediately feels uncomfortable. 

“Oh I’m fine dear,” her mother replies. The uncomfortable quiet returns and Trixie has to actively force herself to sit still, to not squirm under the pressure of the silence. 

Finally, her mom starts talking again, getting to the point of her uncharacteristic visit to Trixie’s room, “so, are you looking forward to the wedding?” 

Trixie is taken aback, this is the first time either of her parents have asked her how the entire situation is making her feel. When they asked her to marry Katya it wasn’t even a question or a discussion, it was a demand, and Trixie was incapable of saying no, but even then neither of them had asked if she was happy or _excited._ She takes a minute to think about how she wants to respond, considers talking to her mom for real, to tell her about how she had started falling for Katya and gotten her heart broken before she had even opened it up to the other woman. She’s about to start talking before she realizes that that isn’t something that they do. They don’t talk about their feelings, not in an open honest way. “I guess,” she settles for, decides not to try to connect with her mom. 

Her mother nods her head, looks at Trixie in a way that makes Trixie squirm in the way she’s been avoiding. “I want you to be happy you know,” her mother practically whispers, Trixie almost thinks she made it up. 

She feels tears stinging at the back of her eyes, a warmth in her stomach at the sudden affection she has for her mother, a feeling that has become rare the older she’s gotten. “Thanks, mom,” she says back, her voice is wavering slightly with emotion and she hates it. 

Her mom clears her throat, shakes her head slightly and sits up straighter, and Trixie is on alert again, “so we’ve planned a rehearsal for the wedding,” she says, her voice back to her usual formal tone. 

Trixie’s stomach sinks, she wasn’t expecting to have to interact with Katya before the wedding, she had spent all her time focused on mentally preparing herself for _wedding day_ and she feels blindsided by this new event. “Oh,” Trixie lets slip out of her mouth, “uh, when?” 

“Tomorrow,” her mom at least has the decency to sound sheepish as she says it. 

Trixie’s eyes bug out of her head slightly and her mouth falls open slightly, “okay, alright,” she says and she’s not sure if it’s aimed at her mom or if she’s trying to reassure herself. 

လ

Trixie wakes up the next morning with a sense of dread that she hasn’t felt in years, it feels like waking up on the first day of school after a long, relaxing summer. She manages to pull herself out of bed and get ready for the day, trying not to think too much about what this rehearsal entails. 

The walk to the car and the ride over to the rehearsal space feels like the longest car ride of her life, like the universe is intentionally slowing time down just to put her out of her misery even slower. 

When they arrive, her mom puts her hand on Trixie’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze and smiling at her daughter, telling her to at least pretend to be happy. Trixie hates it, but she tries to put on a smile, not wanting to let Katya know how much she’s affected her. 

When she sees Katya across the room, standing with her parents and laughing loudly at what she can only assume was her own joke, Trixie feels her smile become more genuine, her stomach swooping gently at the sight of the joy Katya exudes. Katya catches her eye from across the room, waving enthusiastically and walking away from her parents to meet her halfway. 

They stand facing each other smiling and Katya leans in for a hug, squeezes her around the middle as Trixie laces her arms around her neck. When they separate, Katya is still smiling at her, “are you ready?” she asks, seeming excited in stark contrast to the way Trixie feels. 

“I guess so,” Trixie shrugs, “what are we even doing?” she asks, her parents didn’t give her much of any idea of what was meant to be accomplished with the day, just that it was a run through of ‘the big day,’ which wasn’t much to work on. 

“We’re figuring out how the ceremony is going to work and then we need to practice for our first dance,” Katya tells her, wiggling her eyebrows at the end of her sentence. 

Trixie freezes at that, she thought she would just have to stand there and look pretty on the day of the wedding, she didn’t know there was choreography involved. Nerves take over as she realizes she’s going to make a fool of herself in front of everyone with her inability to dance and she’s going to have to slow dance with Katya. 

Katya snorts at her panicked expression, “don’t worry Barbie, we just have to hold each other and sway, nothing too complicated,” Katya tells her, mimicking a slow dance with her own body. 

Before Trixie can respond or panic further, their parents are calling them over, evidently ready to get the rehearsal started. 

Trixie zones out for most of the rehearsal, all the parts she was expecting where she just has to stand there and look pretty, she’s standing in the center of the room, facing Katya. 

“And that’s when you two kiss,” Mr. Zamolodchikova announces. 

Katya’s face lights up with a shit-eating grin, and she moves to lean in for a kiss, Trixie wants to lean away, wants to run away even, but she’s frozen on her feet, watching as Katya’s enticing lips get closer and closer to her own. Before their lips can even graze, Mrs. Zamoldchikova calls out from where she’s seated, “save it for the wedding day Yekatarina.” 

Trixie silently thanks her, relief flooding her system along with just a touch of disappointment. Katya stands back upright, rolling her eyes at her mother. 

“That’s it for the ceremony, now you must dance,” Mr. Zamolodchikova directs, his accent thick as ever. 

Trixie’s mother stands from her seat, moving over to the speaker someone had brought along for practice, turning on some generic cheesy music for them to dance to. 

Trixie tries to subtly wipe the sweat that is soaking her palms on her dress. Katya is standing across from her still, raising her arms up and placing them on Trixie’s waist more gently than she expected from her. Trixie brings her arms up too, looping them around Katya’s neck, she leaves a decent amount of space between them still, not seeing a need to make this worse for herself than she needs to. Katya, evidently, does not feel the same way, tugging Trixie forward by the hips so their bodies are pressed together, and Trixie swallows thickly, tries to control her breathing and heartbeat so the other woman can’t feel how this is affecting her. They sway together gently, and Trixie becomes more relaxed, her body melding with Katya’s as they embrace each other. 

After some time, they separate, their parents satisfied that they are able to dance together in a way that is presentable to the crowd of people expected at the wedding. They wrap up the rehearsal, there isn’t anything else they can do at the moment, they aren’t even in the real wedding venue, which made Trixie roll her eyes when she heard it, wondering why they’re practicing somewhere that could be entirely different to the real venue. 

She returns to her parents, grabbing her jacket and putting it on, ready to leave and go home, cool down from this entire day. 

As she’s walking to the door with her parents, she feels a tug on her right arm, spinning around to see Katya at the other end of it. Just like their first meeting, Katya pulls her close to her body and Trixie shudders at the way her body presses against her side as she lifts up on her toes to place a gentle kiss to her cheek. 

“See you on the big day,” she whispers in her ear. Trixie has to actively hold herself up when she feels her knees buckle at the interaction. 

“See you,” she responds lamely, kicking herself for how stupid she sounds. Katya smirks at her, releasing her hand and Trixie follows her parents who left her behind, exiting the building and sliding into the car, sinking into her seat and holding back a groan. She’s fucked. 

လ

Before she knew it, the wedding day was upon them, she woke up not knowing how to feel. There’s a part of her that’s excited, she has an undeniable crush on Katya at this point, but she also still feels weird about the whole thing. It’s just a crush, people don’t marry people based just on a crush, and this is a clearly not reciprocated crush based on Katya’s desires. She’s about to marry a woman that she is very attracted to and that she has started to develop feelings for, who doesn’t feel the same and is going to sleep with other women and, more importantly, not sleep with her. She gets all of the commitment and none of the benefits, life is so unfair. 

She sighs deeply, pulling her covers back and getting out of bed lethargically. Her mom is going to be in her room any minute now, fussing over her and driving her insane as she bustles around the room, rushing Trixie out the door. She heads to her bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, savoring her last few minutes of peace and solitude she has left. 

“Beatrice,” her mom calls, banging loudly on her door, “are you awake honey?” 

Trixie walks over to the door, opening it and nearly getting punched in the face by her mother’s fist, that she has to dodge, which was about to start banging again. “Yeah I’m up,” she says walking back over to her bed and flopping down on it dramatically, her hair fanned around her and her limbs sprawled messily on top of the bed. 

“Come on dear, you’re about to get married! Cheer up!” her mother says, far too chipper for both the early morning and for Trixie’s less than sunny mood. She’s flitting around the room, picking things up as she goes and it’s giving Trixie a headache watching her. 

Trixie groans as she sits back up, glaring at her mother, “let’s just get this over with.” 

“What’s wrong Beatrice? I thought you liked Katya?” her mother asks, not even paying attention to her daughter as she continues to collect things from around the room. 

Trixie sighs again, she hates that her mom is right, she does like Katya, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is not going to end well for her, “liking her does not mean I want to marry her mom.” 

Her mother makes a noise at that, and starts gathering the makeup Trixie will need for the wedding. 

“We have to get going, we’re going to be late,” she says, leaving the room in a flash, just as fast as she entered. 

Trixie stands up, slumping out of her room behind her mother. The walk out of the house feels final, her last day of freedom. 

The venue is nice, it’s a huge old mansion, with gardens all around it, and greenhouses all over the property. When the owner died, it was bought and turned into a botanical garden for people to visit, Trixie appreciates that they didn’t have to decorate much for the occasion, the beauty of the place enough to satisfy everyone involved. She thinks that if she were marrying someone for real, someone she loved, this would be the place she would want to do it and the thought hurts, stings a little in her heart. 

She follows her mother into a separate room to get ready, sitting down in a chair gracelessly, already prepared for her mom to do her makeup in a way that she hates. Her mom hums a tune while she does her makeup, Trixie can practically feel the joy radiating off of the woman and wishes she could feel the same, wishes she could share in her mother’s excitement. Time feels like it’s dragging on and moving too quickly at the same time, and before she knows it Trixie is being laced into her wedding dress, preparing to exit the room and walk down the aisle. She can hear people outside the door, murmuring excitedly as they wait for the ceremony to begin, there’s nerves bubbling in her stomach making her thankful she didn’t have time to eat this morning, she’s sure she would have thrown it up by now. 

Trixie’s mother gives her a kiss on the cheek, careful not to mess up her freshly done makeup, and wishes her good luck before she leaves the room to go find her seat in the crowd, her eyes shine a little with unshed tears, and Trixie’s heart hurts that her wedding day is being spoiled by the fact that she didn’t have a choice. She wishes her mom would be tearing up at a wedding she chose, a wedding where she’s marrying someone she loves and is committed to, that her mom was proud to give her away to someone she wants to be given away to. She shakes off the feeling, waits patiently for the rest of the day to start. Seconds pass before Trixie’s father comes into the room, replacing her mom. 

“You ready, angel?” her father asks, “you look so beautiful.” 

Trixie nods her head, her nerves are making it hard to talk.

Trixie’s dad reaches his hand out, Trixie takes it and is comforted by the strong squeeze she receives. Her dad tugs her hand, laces Trixie’s arm through his and prepares them to leave the room and walk down the aisle. 

It was decided that Trixie would be walking down the aisle first, and she’s regretting agreeing to that now that she realizes it means standing up there alone, waiting for Katya to join her. She hears the music start and the sound of everyone quieting down and rising from their seats. Her heart is pounding and she can hardly feel her feet moving beneath her as her dad kisses her on the cheek just as her mom did, giving her arm a pat before leaving her alone at the front of the room. She tries her best to look calm, not to shift around in her uncomfortable heels, or to look like she’s about to throw up even though it’s how she feels. 

When she sees Katya making her way towards her, her heart stops. She looks like an angel and She lets herself be flooded by emotions before she can stop them, imagining that this was a real wedding, that the woman walking toward her was actually the love of her life, and that they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. Reality crashes back down on her when Katya is standing in front of her, looking completely unbothered by what’s happening, Trixie envies her. 

Trixie spends most of the ceremony trying to calm herself down and not hearing much of what was being said. She comes to when she hears her name, hears Katya saying, “I do.” 

Trixie swallows, prepares herself and says, “I do,” when it’s her turn, mentally praises herself for not choking on the only words she has to say. 

“I now pronounce you wife and wife, you may now kiss,” the minister says. Oh. That part. Trixie never let herself think about kissing Katya, had wiped their almost kiss from the rehearsal from her mind, knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere good. She feels Katya take her hands in hers and tug her gently forward, letting their lips meet in a brief kiss, something shimmering in the other woman’s eyes as their faces separate. She hears applause around them, but she’s busy staring at Katya’s lips, wishing she could have felt them longer, they were softer than she imagined they would be. 

Katya’s hand is still in hers as she leads Trixie back down the aisle. They pass the crowd, going back to the room Katya must have gotten ready in. Katya closes the door behind them and Trixie is grateful for the quiet the room provides, she finally feels like she can breathe again. 

“You okay?” Katya asks, her thumb stroking over Trixie’s hand that she’s still holding tightly. 

“Yeah,” Trixie says, “that was just overwhelming.” 

Katya hums, she lets go of Trixie’s hand and goes to sit down in a chair to wait. Trixie follows her lead, sitting on the chair facing Katya. 

“You ready for our first dance? Did you practice your moves?” Katya makes conversation, hoping to get Trixie to talk, get her out of her own head, she moves her body in an odd wiggle to emphasize moves and Trixie cracks a tentative smile at it. 

Trixie had forgotten about that too. “Yeah,” Trixie replies, “you better not stomp on my toes with your disgusting feet,” she teases, trying to get herself back to earth, let herself joke back and forth with Katya in the way that comes so naturally to them. 

Katya laughs a little at that, glad that Trixie seems to be calmer now, back to normal, “don’t worry I’ll avoid your delicate dolls feet, Barbie.” 

There’s a knock on the door, Trixie’s mom sticking her head in to let them know it’s time for them to be announced to the reception. 

Katya takes Trixie’s hand again, leading them out of the quiet of the small room and toward the large hall Trixie can hear noise coming from. They make it to the doorway, the DJ announcing, “now presenting Mrs. and Mrs. Mattel-Zamolodchikova,” impressively pronouncing the obnoxious last name they now both have correctly. She hears him announce their first dance and suddenly Katya is holding her waist, leading her through their first dance as a married couple. Trixie feels like she’s floating, her arms are wrapped around Katya’s neck and they’re swaying to the music. Everyone around them is quiet, watching them dance together in the middle of the room. 

The dance ends, and they separate, Katya once again taking her hand in her own, squeezing it in reassurance that she’s with her. Trixie appreciates the grounding it provides, smiling at Katya in thank you who smiles back at her. 

The rest of the reception passes uneventfully, their parents give speeches that sound disingenuous since they’re about a couple that’s not actually a couple, but they all seem proud, happy even. They eat dinner and politely thank everyone for coming, smiling for pictures when they need to. Before Trixie knows it, the event is over, people slowly trickling out until it’s just the six of them left. Their parents had somehow found an apartment for them already, and expect them to live there starting tonight, Trixie had told her parents it was too soon, that she wasn’t ready to live with a practical stranger yet, but they had told her it was non negotiable, that you have to live with your spouse, it’s just how it works. 

A car takes them the place they are now supposed to call home, dropping them off in front of the unfamiliar building. Katya takes the lead again and Trixie follows her into the building, into the elevator, and down a long hallway until they reach what Trixie guesses is her new home. 

“Home sweet home,” Katya says, unlocking the door and letting Trixie inside first. “Aren’t I supposed to carry you across the threshold or something?” 

“As if you could lift me,” Trixie scoffs, “you’re tiny, I would crush you.” 

Katya looks affronted, “I’ll have you know I am extremely strong,” she defends herself, squaring her shoulders as if to emphasize her point, but Trixie just finds it incredibly adorable. 

Trixie rolls her eyes, “you can try lifting me another time G.I. Jane, I need to be in bed now,” Trixie says, yawning at the end as if to prove her point. She walks in the direction of where she assumes the bedroom is and finds it without problem. The apartment feels weird, it’s plainly decorated like it’s a hotel and Trixie can’t wait to decorate it, make it feel more like people actually live there. She’s surprised to see how much of her stuff is already here, their parents must have had someone move it over for them during the wedding, she’s not complaining. 

She locates her pajamas, freshly bought since she can no longer comfortably sleep naked, and brings them with her to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When she’s done, Katya takes her place. Trixie goes back to their room, deciding she wants to sleep on the far side of the bed so she’s closer to the wall and climbing in, feeling the tension she’s been carrying in her body all day melt out of her limbs as her body hits the comfortable mattress. 

Katya comes back into the room, climbing into the bed next to Trixie and rolling over to face her, getting far too close for Trixie’s comfort, a smirk firmly on her face. “So are we going to consummate this relationship or what?” 

Trixie feels wide awake at that, opening her eyes to look at Katya. Katya’s eyes are shining with humor, and Trixie groans, rolling her eyes at her. 

“Go to sleep Katya,” she demands. 

“We’re married, Trixie, we can finally give into our passion without disappointing God,” Katya’s laughing, amused by Trixie’s reaction and riling her up even more just to tease her. 

“As if I would want to sleep with that corpse you call a body,” Trixie teases back, ignoring the ping she feels in her core at the suggestion of sleeping with Katya. 

Katya wheezes, rolling away from Trixie’s body as she flops her head back down onto the pillow, “you’re a cunt, I don’t know why I married you.” 

“If anyone should be questioning this it’s me, I just married the corpse of Mr. Burns,” Trixie fights back, “you got to marry this hot ass.” 

Katya wheezes again, “it is a hot ass,” she agrees. 

Trixie snorts at that, feeling exhaustion start to take over her body again. Katya reaches over and switches off the lamp, letting the room fall into darkness, “goodnight Trixie.” 

“Goodnight Katya,” Trixie mumbles before she falls into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I really appreciate feedback of any kind if you would like to provide some! I am also on tumblr [@dykegoblins!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dykegoblins)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie and Katya settle into their life living together and things get even more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello I'm back again! This chapter got uhhh long, it just kept coming out of me and here it is! Thank you to anyone who's read or commented you make my absolute day, and thank you most of all to [FarrahGone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarrahGone) I love you so so so much and I hope you enjoy this mess!

Their first few days living together are spent mostly just trying to get comfortable being in the same space, learning to live around each other. It’s weird to adjust to, it feels like she has a roommate, except this roommate is also her wife that she isn’t actually romantically involved with. It’s messy. 

It’s taken time to adjust to the fact that her space is no longer her space, the closet is split in half and she still hasn’t gotten used to seeing a chaotic scramble of reds and blacks thrown in haphazardly alongside her neatly hung up pinks and baby blues. The combination of her stuff and Katya’s stuff has her head swimming, unable to comprehend the fact that they are so close to what she wants them to be yet so far at the same time, it’s maddening. 

It’s a huge adjustment to live together to say the least. Neither one of them is used to living with anyone but their parents and even then they were in huge houses, not an apartment with someone that has only barely pushed past the label of stranger. She’s learned strange little details about Katya that could only be learned from existing in close quarters. Katya eats whenever she’s hungry, it doesn’t matter if it’s the appropriate time for a meal, it doesn’t matter if Trixie has just finished dinner, of which she offered some to Katya, she will decide it’s time to eat when she’s hungry. She also will only eat until she’s full, whether that means she leaves half the plate uneaten or whether she eats two full meals, she eats until she is full and immediately stops. She also wakes up early every morning to do yoga with the sunrise. Trixie doesn’t understand any of it and she doesn’t know what to do with this entirely useless information. 

It’s around week two that Trixie starts overthinking. She can’t stop thinking about the fact that Katya isn’t hers, that she’s still going to be involved with other people. She wonders if she should do the same, find someone else to be infatuated with so she doesn’t make things weird between them. They’re literally married and Trixie is worried about having a crush on her, it’s all so stupid. 

“Hey,” Katya says, sitting down on the couch Trixie has occupied herself watching TV on, “I’m going to meet with a friend for dinner in town, so you’ll be on your own,” she informs Trixie. Despite living together for two weeks now, neither one of them has really left the apartment much other than to go shopping for groceries or decorations, this is the first time either one of them will be leaving for social reasons. 

“That’s fine, I was actually thinking about going out later anyway,” Trixie responds, not sure where the lie came from, she definitely had no plans for going out tonight. 

“Where are you going?” Katya questions, curiosity in her tone. 

Trixie shrugs, “a bar maybe, not sure yet,” she tries to sound nonchalant, like going out to bars is something she does often when that could not be farther from the truth, she’s not even sure when the last time she went to a bar was. 

“Cool, well have fun,” Katya gets up from the couch, goes back into their room to get ready for dinner with her friend. 

When Katya leaves, calling out a goodbye on her way out, Trixie goes into their room, thinking about what she should do with her night. She starts to get ready, like she would if she were actually going out. She debates on whether or not she should actually go out, find someone to sleep with and hope her useless crush will go away. She decides against it, knows she won’t find anyone that captures her interest the way Katya has, and calls her friend Bob instead. 

“Hello?” 

“I’m coming over,” Trixie says, skipping over all the pleasantries, knowing they aren’t necessary. 

“Cool,” he says, then hangs up. Trixie appreciates how easy things are between them, how they’re both blunt in ways that compliment each other, not offending each other with short conversation and harsh truths. 

Trixie orders an uber, feeling stupid going to Bob’s looking like she’s ready to go clubbing, but she wants Katya to think she actually went out when she gets home later, as stupid as that sounds. 

Bob opens the door before she knocks, looking her up and down, taking in Trixie’s appearance with confusion, “did you forget to tell me we’re going out?” 

Trixie doesn’t answer and starts walking into the house despite Bob’s body blocking the doorway, Bob steps aside, letting Trixie into the house, picking up on her weird mood. Trixie immediately goes to his living room, sitting down on the couch heavily and letting out a long sigh. Bob raises her eyebrows at her, disappearing into the kitchen. He comes back with a bottle of wine and two glasses, pouring them each a healthy glass full and handing it to Trixie who takes a few big gulps straight away. 

“You good?” he asks, concerned by her behavior. 

“You have no idea,” Trixie says, taking another sip of her wine, wanting to calm her nerves down and feel warm and floaty for a while the way wine always makes her feel. 

“So let me get this straight,” Bob starts, Trixie just finished explaining the entire situation to him, “you are here, dressed like you’re about to get fucked, because you want to make your wife think that you’re sleeping around?” 

“Yes,” Trixie answers weakly, her voice sounding unsure, now that she’s explained it all out loud it sounds even more pathetic and insane than it did in her own head. 

Bob bursts into laughter, unable to control the loud laugh coming out of him. Trixie stares at him blankly, not finding the situation nearly as funny. He slowly calms down, wiping tears from his eyes, “girl you are so screwed.” 

Trixie groans, falls back into the couch, wishing it would swallow her, “I know,” she groans. 

∾

Trixie shuts the door quietly, sneaking back into the apartment. By the time Bob had finished making fun of her, it was already the early hours of the morning, and he let her crash at his house rather than risk going home in an uber at that time of night. 

“Someone had a good night,” she hears from the dining room table. She freezes, she didn’t think Katya would be awake this early, she was hoping to be able to sneak into bed and sleep for a few more hours. 

“I didn’t think you were awake,” Trixie says stupidly, trying to smooth the wrinkles out of her dress from laying slumped on a couch all night in it. 

“You didn’t want me to witness your walk of shame?” Katya teases with a playful smirk. 

Well, at least her plan worked. Katya thinks she went out and found someone to hook up with, she doesn’t know if she’s relieved or disappointed at that fact. 

“I’m gonna go back to sleep,” Trixie says, pointing in the direction of their bedroom. 

Katya hums, continuing to drink her coffee Trixie can feel her eyes following her across the apartment until she disappears into their room, the door closing firmly behind her. She peels off her dress, throwing on a big t-shirt and climbing into bed, her muscles melting when they hit the comfortable mattress and falling back sleep almost immediately. 

After that morning, Trixie makes a habit of going to Bob’s, dressing up each time, and feeling stupider for it everytime. Bob makes fun of her every time, telling her she’s an idiot and that she should just tell her wife that she likes her. Trixie can’t believe how stupid this entire situation is. 

Trixie wonders what Katya does when she goes out, but always stops herself from thinking about it too much when she starts thinking about Katya fucking other people. She knows it’s unfair to be jealous or upset with Katya for hooking up with other people when she’s making Katya think she’s doing the same thing, but she can’t help it. 

She can never quite gage Katya’s reaction when she comes home in the mornings. She makes comments, asks her if she had fun, but she never tells Trixie what she got up to, just listens to Trixie answer her questions with vague statements that she had fun, never saying anything in response. Trixie finds it odd, Katya loves to talk, loves to make fun of Trixie, but she never seems to comment on this specific topic. She probably doesn’t want Trixie to question her back, to ask about her own sex life. Trixie always cuts herself off at that, not wanting to think about sex and Katya in the same sentence, not trusting her brain. 

∾

A few weeks into their new routine, Katya breaks the neatly formed pattern of their weeks by announcing that she’s going out on a _Wednesday_ instead of a _Friday_ and Trixie is thrown for a loop. She stutters out a response, watches as Katya gets ready for whatever her plans are and says goodbye when she leaves the apartment. Suddenly Trixie is alone in the apartment and it feels too empty. 

She goes about the rest of her day, makes herself dinner and eats it alone in front of the TV. She contemplates what she should do with her night, she can’t go to Bob’s in the middle of the week, it’s a work night, and she doesn’t have many other friends to call either. She decides to take a bath, let herself unwind and get into bed early. 

She shuts off the TV plunging the apartment into a thicker silence than she’s ever heard it in and makes her way to the bathroom. The apartment may be smaller than the house she grew up in, but it’s still incredibly nice, the bathroom is a large open space with a big round bathtub that Trixie can’t wait to relax in. She can’t use it when Katya is home in case she needs to use the bathroom, so she’s going to savor her time alone. She plugs the tub and starts filling it with hot water, adding her favorite bath salt to the water and breathing in deeply with the heavy air and the smell on lavender relaxing her already. She strips and eases herself into the water, the tension washing away. 

She stays in the bath until the water is too cold to stand and climbs out, toweling off and draining the bath. She takes her time with the rest of her routine too, washing her face clean and brushing her teeth before she puts her pajamas on and climbs into bed. She doesn’t let herself feel embarrassed that she’s a grown woman going to bed at barely ten o’clock while her wife is out doing god knows what. 

She doesn’t even remember falling asleep when suddenly she’s waking up with a start, a loud noise waking her up. She snaps her eyes open, blinking rapidly to clear her vision and find out what woke her up. When her eyes focus, she sees Katya is home, clearly drunk, and failing miserably at trying to take her clothes off. 

“Katya?” she calls out, her voice a croak with the sleep in it. 

Katya jolts, not expecting Trixie to be awake, “Jesus, I didn’t think you were awake.” 

“You woke me up when you fell on your ass,” Trixie replies, amused at the state of the other woman. She’s sitting on the floor with her tights tangled around her ankles, her hands not coordinated enough to remove them from her legs. 

“Sorry,” Katya replies, she sounds sheepish. 

Trixie snorts lightly at that, “do you need some help?” she offers. 

“No, I got it,” Katya responds, finally pulling her tights off over her feet. She holds them up after, looking victorious and Trixie can’t help the smile that blooms on her face at how proud she looks of herself. 

Katya stands back up, trying to reach around her back to get to the zipper of her dress, but her hands keep missing. Trixie sits up in bed, scooting to the edge, “come here,” she says, reaching her hands out toward Katya. 

Katya smiles back at her, walking over to the bed and turning around so Trixie can free her from the confines of her tight dress. Trixie unzips it slowly, regulating her breathing that seems to pick up more with each inch of skin she exposes along Katya’s smooth back. She reaches the end of the zipper and pats Katya on the hip once to let her know she’s good. Before she can lay back down or look away, Katya has the dress off of her body, and is standing there in nothing but her black panties, having forgone a bra for the night. Trixie swallows thickly, and lays back down trying and failing to take her eyes off of the nearly naked Katya in front of her. 

Katya goes into the bathroom, leaving Trixie alone with her thoughts and a rapidly beating heart. She closes her eyes, tries to go back to sleep but all she can see when she closes her eyes is the smooth skin covering Katya’s back, the way her waist curves in ever so slightly and how the muscles in her back move when she walks. 

Her eyes snap open when the bathroom door opens and Katya has thankfully covered herself in an oversized t-shirt, allowing Trixie to calm down slightly. She slides into her side of the bed, facing Trixie and meeting her eyes in the calm darkness. Katya is trying to situate herself under the covers, she reminds Trixie of a cat with the way she nuzzles herself deeper into the mattress and pillow beneath her. 

Trixie shuts her eyes again, willing herself to think of anything other than the woman next to her in bed. 

“Trixie,” Katya breaks the silence, her voice sounding small, vulnerable almost. 

Trixie opens her eyes and Katya looks small. She’s buried herself under the blankets even though they both know she’s going to wake up covered in sweat, and her hair is tousled around her, her bangs sticking up. She hums in response, willing Katya to continue with whatever she was going to say. 

“Can we cuddle,” she asks even quieter than before, Trixie’s body goes rigid and she feels even more awake then before. She can’t seem to form a response. 

“Never mind,” Katya says after a few seconds of silence pass, “don’t worry about it, goodnight,” she says, rolling over to face away from Trixie. 

Trixie takes a deep breath, scooting over in the bed and putting her arm gently around Katya’s waist. 

“Trixie you don’t need to-” 

“Shhh,” Trixie cuts her off, “go to sleep.” 

Katya settles down into the mattress again, her body moving closer against Trixie’s in the process, “thank you,” she whispers. 

Trixie grunts in acknowledgement and she feels Katya’s breathing even out not long after, she focuses on matching her breathing, not letting her mind wander and panic and soon follows Katya into sleep. 

When she wakes up in the morning the bed is thankfully empty. She had slept well, but her dreams were relentless, flashing images of Katya’s half naked body in her dreams, feeling the weight of her body on hers even in her dream land. She wakes up with a wet patch on her underwear and burning in her core, thankful that Katya isn’t still pressed tight against her in her sleep. 

She throws the blankets off her body, letting the cool air hit her overheated body and groaning into the open air of the room as she pulls herself out of bed. She’s sweaty either from her dreams or from Katya being a human radiator all night, and she decides to take a shower to wash it away. 

She starts the shower, undressing and stepping under the stream, the water is hot and she immediately realizes that this was a mistake. The temperature heats her body up more and she can feel a pulsing between her legs. It crosses her mind that she hasn’t had an orgasm since she’s been married and it only intensifies the need she already felt. She slowly lets her hand drift down her body, teasing her nipples on the path down her body. 

The first brush of her fingers over her clit have her hips shifting of their own accord and she has to bite her lip hard to keep a whine from escaping her lips. She starts rubbing slow circles over the bundle of nerves and she lets her mind wander, picturing Katya in the dim light of their room, naked back looking soft and tempting. The Katya in her mind turns around, faces Trixie and her eyes are blown out, she looks angelic with the moonlight reflecting in her darkened eyes. 

She moves her fingers to her entrance, slips two in right away with ease and pumps them at a quick pace. She brings her other hand up to her mouth, putting two fingers into her mouth to contain the noises that she can’t stop from coming out. 

Her mind flickers to her dreams from last night, Katya is on top of her, her hand traveling down her body how her own did earlier, but the touch feels different, more delicate. She’s kissing all over her chest, leaving red lipstick in her wake and Trixie’s back is arching, moaning at the feeling of warm lips worshipping her body. 

Her hand picks up speed, pumping at a quick rate as she adds a third finger. Her walls stretch with the added finger and she moans loudly around her fingers, unable to contain herself with the intensity of the pleasure. It’s been too long and she’s pent up. 

In her mind, Katya has travelled lower, her mouth covering her pussy as she licks and sucks at the wetness. Trixie takes her fingers out of her mouth, brings them down to add pressure to her clit again while she stuffs herself. She rubs tight circles over it and she comes suddenly over her fingers, a high pitch noise somewhere between a whine and a moan escaping her lips at full volume, she hopes Katya isn’t able to hear her from wherever she is. 

She lets herself ride out her orgasm, removes her fingers when she gets too sensitive and leans against the wall with both of her hands. “Fuck,” she whispers to herself. 

She quickly finishes the rest of her shower, feeling a sense of guilt and shame now that she’s no longer focused on her own pleasure. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to look Katya in the eyes after this, she feels like she crossed a line that she can’t uncross. 

When she’s finished she makes her way to the kitchen, she’s awake enough as it is but she needs coffee, needs to have an excuse to give herself for why she’s so on edge. 

“Goodmorning,” Katya says when she enters the kitchen, she’s already sitting at the table with her own mug of coffee. 

“Morning,” Trixie replies, avoiding eye contact entirely and making a beeline for the coffee pot pouring herself some coffee in the mug Katya left out for her. She stands leaning on the counter with her mug, sipping carefully so she doesn’t burn herself. 

“Are you gonna come sit?” Katya asks, sounding unsure of herself. Trixie panics at the tension she can feel building in the room, hoping that Katya didn’t hear her in the shower. 

Trixie doesn’t respond, just wordlessly moves to the table and sits down across the table from her wife, keeping her gaze planted on the table instead of the woman in front of her. 

They sit in silence for a while, the tension continuing to build and Trixie tries to stop herself from shifting on her seat under the intense gaze she can feel Katya has on her. She feels guilty and ashamed and she doesn’t want to see what emotion is swimming in Katya’s eyes. 

Katya clears her throat, “everything okay?” 

Trixie forces herself to look up and when she meets Katya’s eyes she doesn’t find the disgust or joking in her eyes, she looks uncertain, like she’s nervous about something and it confuses her. “Uh, yeah,” Trixie pushes out, “you?” she adds. 

Katya shifts a little in her seat, “I’m fine.” 

They fall back into a silence, the tension still heavy in the air. Trixie looks back down, following the wood grain on the table with her eyes to distract herself from the painful awkwardness she’s feeling. Katya’s leg is bouncing under the table, the coffee in her mug is moving in gentle waves from the motion, and Trixie wants to punch herself for making Katya so uncomfortable. 

“Listen Trixie-” Katya starts before Trixie cuts her off. 

“I’m sorry,” she says, voice wavering. 

Katya tilts her head in confusion before she shakes it, “no, Trixie listen, I’m sorry, I made you uncomfortable last night and I want to apologize, it won’t happen again,” her eyes are downcast and she looks as embarrassed as Trixie was feeling moments earlier. 

Trixie’s mouth drops open slightly in shock. So Katya didn’t hear her earlier, she’s embarrassed about wanting to be held. 

“Katya it’s fine,” she says, trying to convey the honesty of her statement. 

Katya looks back up at her, relief evident in the way her shoulders relax. She smiles at Trixie briefly, going back to drinking her coffee. The tension seems to have dissipated mostly, only a slight hint of it left hanging between them and though there is still a lot left unsaid between them, they both fall back into silence, comfortable this time, as they finish the rest of their coffee in relative peace. 

∾

“Why are you dressed up,” Trixie questions Bob when he opens the door. It’s been a little over a week since she got off to images of Katya in the shower and she’s back at Bob’s house. 

“Because we are going out,” he replies as if Trixie should have known that. 

“Excuse me?” Trixie questions. 

“Look girl, this is getting ridiculous,” he starts looking pointedly at Trixie as she dips her head in shame, “you’re fucking yourself in the shower you share with your wife that you’re hot for, you need to get laid.” 

Trixie’s cheeks flush red. Bob is right, but she doesn’t want to go out, doesn’t think she’ll be able to sleep with anyone while she’s so hung up on her literal wife. 

“Do we have to? Can’t we just stay in and drink wine?” she whines, her eyes pleading. 

“Bitch we do that every week, and I love you, but sitting at home drinking wine in my living room has really put a damper on my social life,” Bob responds, he’s closing the door behind him and locking it, sealing Trixie’s path to safety. 

Trixie sighs, knows that she can’t change Bob’s mind. She follows Bob as he starts walking. 

They end up at a club not far from Bob’s house, and the bouncer seems to know him since they get let in almost immediately despite a line outside the door. Bob makes his way immediately over to the bar, Trixie in tow, and starts talking to the bartender. 

Trixie looks around, taking in the atmosphere, it’s dark inside with pulsing lights and pounding music, it’s hard to hear much of anything but she can feel the bass in her chest and it wakes her up. There are bodies everywhere moving against each other in a huge sweaty mass, and the DJ is bouncing around in his booth. There’s a pride flag hanging from the ceiling, indicating what kind of bar it is. It’s not the kind of place she would ever choose to go to, but she’s been to far worse places. 

“Here,” Bob says, handing her a shot glass of a clear liquid, “you need to loosen up, have fun.” 

Trixie takes the shot, wincing at the way it burns the back of her throat. Before she has even recovered, Bob is already handing her another drink, something mixed and bubbly that she can sip on. They both stand by the bar, drinking their beverages slowly. Bob finishes his drink first, waiting for Trixie to drain her cup before pulling her to the dancefloor. 

They dance together and Trixie slowly starts to loosen up, lets herself have fun even if she’s sure she looks like an idiot. Bob goes back to the bar, needing to cool down and wipe the sweat that was covering his face and neck. Trixie stays on the dancefloor, and when she looks over to Bob, she sees him chatting with a cute twink. She catches his eye and sends him a wink to let him know she’s okay and continues dancing. 

She feels hands on her hips and breath on her ear all of the sudden. She spins around in the person’s grip, coming face to face with a beautiful brunette that’s smirking up at her. The woman leans in close, “wanna dance?” she calls over the music. 

Trixie nods before she can even think about it and spins back around, lets the woman pull her against her body by the hips. It feels good to have a body pressed against herself and she lets herself get carried away by the feeling, getting lost in the warmth on her back, the way the woman is grinding her hips against her, and the bodies around them that are keeping them encased in heat. 

Trixie doesn’t know how much time has passed when she feels her body being spun around, her arms going up by reflex and coming to rest on the woman’s shoulders as they continue moving together. The woman leans in and suddenly there are warm lips against hers, they feel dry and the kiss is rough, their teeth clacking together as the woman pushes her tongue into Trixie’s mouth. She opens her mouth, lets the woman lick into her mouth and moves her lips against hers sloppily. Kisses trail over her jaw to the base of her ear and the woman whispers breathily into her ear, “lets go to the bathroom.” 

Trixie isn’t a fan of hookups, especially not in grimy club bathrooms, but Bob’s voice is echoing in her head and it’s not like she has a place she can take the woman back to, so she takes her hand and lets her lead them to the bathroom. 

They shut themselves in a stall and Trixie is immediately pushed up against the wall, thankful that she didn’t get a look at it beforehand so she isn’t disgusted, and the woman’s lips are back on hers quickly, biting and sucking at her lips. 

Trixie tries to let herself forget about everything, to focus on the attractive woman that is so eager to make her feel good, but her mind keeps flashing with images of blonde hair and red lips and she can’t stop herself from thinking how different this all feels to Katya. Which is ridiculous because she’s never even been with Katya, not like this, but she’s imagined it more than she’s comfortable admitting and it’s not like this. It isn’t a rushed hookup in a dirty bathroom with a woman she doesn’t know the name of tugging at her hair with a little too much force. 

She pulls away from the kiss, their lips parting with a pop and the woman moves away a little, looking confused. 

“Everything okay?” she asks, her voice is strained from having to scream in the club and husky with arousal, Trixie would’ve found it hot under different circumstances. 

“I can’t do this,” Trixie hears herself respond. 

The woman removes herself from Trixie entirely, runs a hand through her hair, “did I do something or?” 

“No no, it’s not you, you’re, well, you’re hot, I just I can’t do this, I’m sorry,” Trixie stutters. 

The woman shrugs, doesn’t seem too bothered, “whatever,” she says. 

Trixie looks sheepish, and fixes her skirt that had ridden up on her thighs. “Sorry,” she mutters again as she leaves the stall and exits the bathroom. Bob is no longer by the bar and she starts walking out of the building, needing fresh air. 

When she’s outside she takes out her phone, seeing a series of texts from Bob waiting for her. 

_Saw you go to the bathroom with the hot brunette, get it girl_

_I’m headed home with this twink_

_See you next week bitch, I’m proud of you_

She sighs, pulling up the uber app on her phone and scheduling a ride. She doesn’t bother texting Bob back, knowing that he’s busy anyway. She waits for her uber, trying not to think too much about what just happened, she doesn’t know if she should feel embarrassed or angry with herself for not being able to follow through. 

Her uber pulls up and she climbs in the back seat. The ride back to her apartment isn’t long and before she knows it she’s unlocking the front door, taking off her heels and carrying them into the bedroom as quietly as she can so she doesn’t wake Katya up. 

She makes it into the bathroom, managing to change and use the bathroom before she hears Katya stir when the mattress dips. 

“Trixie?” Katya’s tired voice asks. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up, go back to bed,” Trixie replies, but it’s too late, Katya is turning over and looking up at Trixie through heavy lidded eyes. 

“S’everything okay?” she slurs. 

Trixie sighs, “I’m fine don’t worry.” 

“You never come home before the morning, are you sure you’re okay?” Katya questions further. 

“I said I’m fine Katya, go back to sleep,” she snaps, immediately feeling bad when she sees Katya’s face fall, she was just concerned and Trixie snapped at her like a bitch, “sorry I didn’t mean to snap.” 

“S’okay,” Katya replies.

“Goodnight Katya,” Trixie says, turning over to face the wall so she doesn’t have to look at Katya any longer. 

“Night,” Katya replies. 

Trixie stares at the wall, willing sleep to overtake her but her brain isn’t shutting down. She hears the sheets rustling and then an arm squeezes her around the middle, Katya’s heat settling against her back. Tears spring to her eyes at the gesture and at frustration she has with herself and this whole situation. But then Katya’s breathing against her neck in small puffs, letting out tiny noises in her sleep and Trixie feels herself starting to get sleepy, feeling safe with the smaller woman wrapped around her. She drifts off to sleep, not wanting to exist outside of this moment. The only thought on her mind being, “I am so fucked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I love feedback if you wanna give me any! I also have a tumblr if you want to talk, [@dykegoblins!](tumblr.com/blog/dykegoblins)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!! This is the final chapter!! Thank you so much to anyone that read this, it was really really fun to write and I'm excited to wrap it up. Like usual, this is dedicated to [FarrahGone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarrahGone) I love you so so so much I can't ever tell you enough and I hope you enjoy this!

Trixie sighs as she pulls herself up off of her bed, dragging her feet over to the closet in search of something to wear for the night. She’s been dressing up to go to Bob’s for months now, and she’s long since stopped feeling embarrassed about it, now just feeling stupid and exhausted. She decides on a simple baby pink dress that’s tight on her body, accentuating her curves nicely. 

She slouches her way into the bathroom, dreading doing her makeup. She takes her time doing it anyway, never one to half ass her routine even if the only person that’s going to see it is Bob who makes fun of her every time without fail. She might be pathetic but at least she looks damn good while doing it. 

She finishes her makeup, deciding her hair looks good enough and she grabs her bag from where it sits on top of her dresser, making sure she has her keys, wallet, and phone. She slips on her heels and leaves the room. 

“Katya I’m leaving,” Trixie calls out into the apartment when she reaches the front door. 

“Wait!” she hears Katya’s muffled yell from the other room followed by loud footsteps thundering down the hallway, their downstairs neighbors probably hate them. 

“Where are you going?” Katya asks when she lands in front of Trixie, barely stopping herself from crashing into Trixie’s body with the way her socked feet slide across the hardwood. She’s slightly winded from her sprint across the apartment. 

“Out?” Trixie says it more like a question, confused why Katya is asking since they’ve been living with the same schedule for months now and it’s a Friday night, the night Trixie always goes out. 

“Can I come?” Katya asks, her voice sounding hopeful. 

Trixie freezes, after all these months of her telling Katya she was going out, she never expected Katya to want to join her, but the hope in her voice pulls at Trixie’s heartstrings and she can’t quite bring herself to crush her like that. Bob is waiting for her to spend another night being pathetic with him, but she can’t say no, that would only cause suspicion. 

“Uh, sure,” she finds herself saying, her voice wavering ever so slightly. 

“Great,” Katya responds, turning on her feet and sprinting back in the direction she came from, calling, “be right back,” over her shoulder as she goes. 

Trixie hears some thumping around from the other room as Katya hastily gets ready to go out, and she wracks her brain trying to think of where they could go but coming up empty. She is so screwed. 

Katya stomps back into the room, moving at a slower pace in the heels she’s wearing that have Trixie wincing and worrying about her poor ankles. Trixie’s breath hitches at the sight of the other woman in her tight black strapless dress and those heels, her red lipstick looking even more enticing than it does usually. She smeared some black eyeshadow on too in her hurry and Trixie envies the way she can do her makeup with reckless abandon and still look that stunning. 

“Ready!” Katya exclaims excitedly as she grabs the bag that was thrown lazily beside the door earlier that day. Trixie shakes her head, willing the thoughts floating around in her head to leave, and opening the door for Katya to exit. She takes her time locking the door, calming herself down and preparing for the inevitable awkwardness that she knows is about to ensue. She finishes locking the door, taking a deep breath and spinning around, leading Katya out of the building and into the cool night air. 

“Where are we going?” Katya asks, she’s bouncing along beside Trixie, clearly excited to finally be joining her on a night out for what she’s probably expecting to be a night of drinking and dancing and hot bodies pressed against each other. 

Trixie swallows thickly, “you’ll see,” she answers, buying herself some time to think of anywhere near them that she can take Katya. 

Katya grunts unhappily and rolls her eyes in annoyance at the unsatisfying answer, but follows Trixie obediently as she blindly leads them down random roads through the city, hoping to run into a building she can take Katya to without embarrassing herself. They walk down road after road, not coming across a single bar or club, and Trixie is starting to panic. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Katya asks out of nowhere, startling Trixie a bit as it brings her back to reality. 

“Sure,” she responds. 

“I hate clubs,” Katya admits, “and bars, and anywhere with loud crowds of people,” she says it quietly, looking down and blushing lightly in embarrassment. 

“Why did you ask to come then?” Trixie questions, confused. 

“I wanted to spend time with you,” Katya’s voice is surprisingly soft, for the first time she looks unsure, so unlike the cool confidence she usually projects that Trixie finds so irritating and frustrating. 

Trixie stops walking at that, trying to wrap her brain around the new information. Katya takes a second to realize Trixie stopped walking, turning around and walking back to her in confusion. 

“You okay?” she questions, putting her hand on Trixie’s shoulder in comfort. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Trixie practically whispers, echoing Katya’s earlier question. Her heart rate has sped up again, this time in anticipation instead of panic. 

“Sure,” Katya responds, keeping her voice low to match Trixie’s, as if she doesn’t want to ruin the quiet of the moment they’re having. 

“I don’t actually go out to clubs,” she admits, closing her eyes so she doesn’t have to look at Katya’s stupidly beautiful and caring eyes, she feels shame wash over her body at finally admitting the secret she’s been keeping all this time. 

“What?” Katya says, her voice raising again in clear surprise, her hand leaving Trixie’s shoulder, she immediately misses the warmth. “Where do you always go then?” 

“I go to my friend Bob’s house,” Trixie says, opening her eyes again and looking at Katya’s confused face, she’s sure her face is bright red at this point and thanks God for the heavy foundation she put on before she went out that she hopes is covering most of it. 

“I’m confused, why didn’t you just tell me that?” she doesn’t sound accusatory, just genuinely confused. 

“Because I want you to think I’m going out,” Trixie is blushing even harder now, her stomach has hollowed out with how embarrassed she is about admitting this after all this time. 

“Now I’m even more confused,” Katya says, mostly to herself, her brain working hard to try to connect the dots of what Trixie is saying. 

Trixie takes a deep breath, preparing for the explanation that Katya deserves. “I wanted you to think I was going out and hooking up with people because you said that’s what you were going to do and I didn’t want you to catch onto the fact that I like you,” she pushes out in one breath. She looks up at Katya after to find her staring at her with wide eyes, trying to process the barrage of words Trixie just threw at her. 

“You like me?” Katya questions, her voice raising in pitch. 

Trixie can’t speak after that, just nods her head before hanging it in shame, scuffing her shoes on the dirty city sidewalk. 

“Trixie, look at me,” Katya demands, stepping closer to her. Putting her hands on Trixie’s arms. Trixie looks up at her, not seeing the discomfort she thought she would. “Do you like me?” Katya asks again, quieter this time, uncertainty in her eyes. 

Trixie nods her head again, still not trusting herself to speak out loud. She’s sure her face is bright red at this point even with the foundation, and she’s fighting to hold back the tears she feels pricking her eyes from falling. 

“Trixie,” Katya tries again, “I need to hear you say it.” 

“Yes,” Trixie finally speaks again, “I like you,” she looks back down, not able to look into Katya’s eyes that are nothing but understanding any longer. 

Katya takes her chin in her hand and lifts her face back up. For a few seconds, they just stare at each other, taking the moment in, and then Katya is moving slowly forward, kissing Trixie more gently than Trixie thought she was capable of. She’s cradling Trixie’s face in her hands like she’s precious, her hands warm along her jaw. Trixie doesn’t kiss back right away, too shocked to do anything but stand there, eyes wide open. 

Katya pulls back, looking at Trixie worriedly, “should I...not have done that?” she asks, confusion evident in her voice, and maybe some panic as well, as she chuckles awkwardly to break the tension. 

Trixie snaps back to reality, realizing that the woman she’s been pining after for months, her wife that she hasn’t kissed since their wedding day, just kissed her.. She doesn’t bother answering, just surges forward and captures Katya’s lips in another kiss. Katya lets out a surprised squeak, but immediately responds, moving her lips against Trixie’s with more intensity than last time. When their lips finally separate, Trixie can’t keep the smile off of her face, and Katya can’t seem to either. They stare at each other, wide smiles on both their faces for too long, breaking out of the trance when a man tries to squeeze in between them to continue up the sidewalk. 

They both burst into laughter, unsure what to do from there and energized by the new energy that’s bouncing between them. Katya is the first one to calm down, “we should probably go home.” 

“Probably,” Trixie says back dumbly, still in shock at the turn this night has taken. 

Katya takes Trixie’s hand in her own and they start walking back in the direction of their apartment, Katya having to nudge Trixie along to get her feet moving again. 

The walk back is spent mostly in silence, they’re both content with the quiet, waiting to talk about everything until they get home rather than on the busy sidewalks. For now they’re just enjoying the calm between them, the cool air, the feeling of their hands laced together between them. 

When they get home, they’re still silent, moving to sit on the couch together, not knowing how to approach the conversation they know they need to have. 

“So,” Katya starts, trailing off. 

“So,” Trixie echos. 

They fall back into a silence, but it feels heavier this time, charged. They’re avoiding looking at each other, neither one wanting to start the conversation. 

It’s Katya that breaks the silence, “this is ridiculous,” Katya states, “we’re literally married,” she emphasizes with her hand, her wedding ring firmly in place on her ring finger. They both burst into laughter at that, taking in the absurd situation they’ve found themselves in. 

“Yeah well, you gave me some mixed signals,” Trixie says, steering the conversation into a productive direction, needing to clear the air and find out when the miscommunication started. 

Katya makes an indignant noise high in her throat, “what do you mean? I’ve been flirting with you for weeks,” she sounds exasperated, and genuinely shocked that Trixie didn’t know. 

“Katya you told me you were going to sleep around before we even got married,” Trixie practically yells, “you clearly weren’t interested in me.” 

“You told me you didn’t want to get married!” Katya shouts, “I was trying to give you an out!” 

Trixie’s jaw falls open at that, she doesn’t know what to say. She feels relieved to know that she wasn’t imagining the interest she saw in Katya’s eyes when they first met, or the chemistry that was so palpable between them, but she’s angry with herself for apparently starting the mixed signals between them. 

“Trixie I have tried to fuck you so many times, are you telling me this whole time you thought I was interested?” Katya is holding back laughter now, in disbelief at how oblivious Trixie has apparently been. 

“When have you tried to fuck me!?” Trixie can’t wrap her head around what’s happening, how did she miss that. 

“Well for starters, on our wedding night,” Katya says. 

“I thought you were joking!” Trixie is shouting now, “you tease me all the time, I thought you were just trying to get a reaction!” 

Katya shakes her head, “I can’t believe you didn’t realize how horny I am for you, I’ve made it like, painfully obvious.” 

Trixie can’t quite believe what she’s hearing, in all this time it never occurred to her that Katya might actually be attracted to her too, not after she was rejected. “Is that all?” she asks, suddenly back to being nervous, hoping that it doesn’t stop at just sexual attraction. 

“What do you mean?” Katya tilts her head in confusion, asking for clarification. 

“Do you just want to have sex with me?” the insecurity is seeping into her voice, making her sound small. 

Katya puts a warm hand on Trixie’s knee, Trixie can feel how sweaty it is, she’s a little in awe of how nervous Katya seems to be, how nervous she seems to make Katya. “Trixie I like you,” she says, she sounds the most serious that Trixie has maybe ever heard her, “I want to fuck the absolute shit out of you, but I also want to fall asleep next to you afterward, and I want to wake up next to you, and I want to do that everyday after too,” she says completely earnestly. 

Trixie’s smiling uncontrollably, looking at Katya with hope in her eyes, and Katya is smiling right back. Trixie finally takes the lead, sliding over to be closer to Katya, she puts her hands on either side of her neck, pulling her close and kissing her deeply. Katya’s hands come to rest on her waist as she kisses back just as passionately, her tongue finding Trixie’s bottom lip, swiping across it and asking for access. Trixie grants it easily, letting Katya’s tongue explore her mouth, it’s warm in her mouth as she sucks on it, getting a guttural moan out of Katya that makes her stomach bloom with warmth. Trixie lifts her body off the couch, swinging around to let her knees fall on either side of Katya on the couch so she’s straddling her. They break the kiss for air and Katya moves her lips down, trailing kisses down the column of Trixie’s neck, the angle is a bit awkward, but she makes it work as she sucks a mark on the side of her neck, Trixie’s moaning above her, trying to sit still. It takes Trixie’s hips rolling down on Katya’s lap, seeking pressure, to snap her out of the trance kissing Trixie has put her under. Her eyes darken and she feels a heat settling low in her stomach, “bed,” she commands, her voice sounding deeper with her lust, pushing Trixie up by her thighs. Trixie complies easily, removing herself from Katya and making her way into the bedroom, shedding her shirt as she goes. 

When Katya manages to get her legs working again, she enters the room, finding Trixie sitting on the bed waiting. Her bra is black lace, the opposite of anything Katya would have imagined her in and it makes her mouth water. She’s immediately on top of Trixie, pushing her shoulders back so she’s lying down and kissing along the edges of her bra, she gets lost running her tongue along the newly exposed skin, exploring the woman sprawled out beneath her. 

“Off,” Trixie says, needing to feel Katya’s mouth on more of her skin. Katya jumps at the command, practically ripping the bra off of Trixie after she gets the clasp open and tossing it blindly behind her. Katya looks down at Trixie beneath her in awe, she places her hands gently on her breasts, squeezing lightly, as if she thinks Trixie will break if she isn’t careful. Trixie moves her hands on top of Katya’s squeezing with more pressure, letting her know she’s allowed to be rough. That’s all it takes for Katya to start moving again, letting her hands roam all over Trixie’s torso as she leans down to kiss her again. 

Trixie whines high in her throat when Katya takes her nipple between her fingers, pinching it and rubbing her thumb over the sensitive bud. Katya’s mouth is trailing down her neck, over her chest, straight down to her other nipple that she takes in her mouth, sucking with a pressure that makes Trixie squirm on the bed. Her thong is uncomfortably wet under her skirt and her hips are bucking searching for any friction she can find but coming up empty. 

“Katya please,” Trixie moans, needing the woman to stop teasing her. 

Katya removed her mouth from Trixie’s nipple with a pop, kissing it gently as she looks into Trixie’s eyes, “what do you need, baby?” 

Trixie flushes at the term of endearment, feeling her wetness start to spread to her thighs. “I need my skirt off,” she demands. 

Katya gives her a kiss before she sits up, carefully unzipping Trixie’s skirt and pulling it down her legs, Trixie lifts her hips off the bed to help her do it. Katya takes that moment to remove her own dress, pulling it over her head unceremoniously and throwing it behind her. Her dress was strapless and it appears she didn’t bother with a bra underneath, as she’s left only in her black briefs. Trixie reaches out to touch her, pulling her back down by the waist so she can kiss her again, feeling the smooth planes of her skin as her hands search the newly uncovered areas. Katya moves, placing her leg between both of Trixie’s, she brings it up higher until her thigh is touching Trixie’s center, pressing against it with some pressure. 

“You’re so wet,” she moans, Trixie nodding in response, not even bothering to feel embarrassed. 

Trixie rolls her hips down on Katya’s thigh, finally getting some friction even if it’s not enough to satisfy what she wants. She’s moaning as Katya watches her face, her lips parted in awe. Katya removes the leg from between Trixie’s and Trixie whines at the loss until Katya’s hand is travelling down her body. Her warm hand cups Trixie and she moves her hand up and down slowly over her dripping pussy through Trixie’s underwear. “What do you want?” she asks Trixie. 

Trixie’s breathing hard already, finding it hard to talk around the need coursing through her body, “your hand, I want you inside me,” Trixie manages, her breaths are ragged. 

Katya kisses her again, her fingers moving the fabric of Trixie’s thong to the side, finally touching where Trixie needs her most. She dips her finger tips into Trixie’s wetness, sliding it around her pussy and up to her clit that she circles with hardly any pressure. When her fingers are nice and wet, she slowly sinks one into Trixie’s heat as Trixie moans into her mouth. She slowly starts moving the finger in and out of her, adding a second finger when Trixie is no longer tight around her. Trixie has to break their mouths apart, panting into Katya’s open mouth, their faces still close together as Katya diligently watches the way her faces contorts in pleasure. 

“Faster,” Trixie pants, her hips are thrusting to match Katya’s pace. 

Katya complies, pumping her fingers in and out of Trixie at a quick pace. Trixie is moaning beneath her, unable to focus on anything but the pleasure that’s coursing through her entire body, Katya kisses her chest, biting gently and leaving a trail of bright red lipstick and tiny bruises. Katya moves her other hand up to Trixie’s clit, moving in time with the fingers that are still thrusting in and out of her. Trixie’s moans grow louder as she gets closer, not holding back. 

“Katya I’m so close,” she moans as she thrusts harder, desperately chasing the orgasm she feels rushing toward her. 

Katya kisses her open mouth, it’s wet and messy, and she goes back to watching Trixie’s face as she gets closer and closer to release, “come for me baby,” she whispers. 

That’s all it takes for the waves of pleasure to wash over her. Trixie moans long and loud as she comes, her walls tightening around Katya’s finger as she rides out the orgasm. Katya keeps moving her fingers, drawing every bit of pleasure out of Trixie until she tells Katya to stop. Katya lifts her hand to her mouth, sucking the taste of Trixie off of her fingers. Trixie opens her eyes, watching Katya in awe as she cleans her fingers with her tongue. As soon as she’s done, Trixie brings her down for a kiss, tasting herself in Katya’s mouth. 

Trixie feels wiped out, the intensity of the entire night catching up to her. She feels Katya moving and watches her as she stands up and removes Trixie’s underwear, putting them in the hamper they keep in the corner of their room, she takes her own off as well and moves back to the bed. She moves back up to kiss Trixie again, apparently aware that Trixie is all but useless in the moment. She straddles Trixie’s thigh, grinding her hips down on it and moaning. Trixie watches as Katya rides her thigh, circling her hips and writhing around on top of Trixie, she looks unreal. She lifts her boneless arm up toward Katya who takes her hand immediately, holds onto it as she searches for friction on Trixie’s thigh that has quickly become slick. It doesn’t take long after that for Katya to come, collapsing onto Trixie’s chest when she’s finished riding it out. 

Trixie runs her fingers through Katya’s hair gently as she comes down, both of them letting their breathing return back to normal. 

“Well, we finally consummated the relationship,” Trixie says, grinning. 

She can feel Katya’s laughter on top of her, “which we could have done months ago if you would’ve taken me up on the offer,” she pokes Trixie in the chest accusingly. 

Trixie laughs at that, turning slightly red when she remembers how stupid she’s been, “maybe if you were nice to me once in a while I would’ve taken you more seriously,” she teases back. 

Katya kisses her again before getting up, slowly peeling her body off of Trixie’s and climbing under the covers, pulling them over Trixie’s body as well. Katya settles down next to Trixie’s body, wrapping an arm around her waist and nuzzling her face into her neck. 

“Goodnight Trixie,” she whispers, giving Trixie a last peck on her neck. 

“Goodnight,” Trixie returns before adding, “wife.” She feels Katya smile against her neck, planting a soft kiss where her face is pressed in Trixie’s neck snuggly before Trixie feels her body relax as she’s pulled into a deep sleep. Trixie can’t believe that she has a wife now, a real one, that she actually gets to kiss and fuck and love, even if it took them months of being married to get to this place. She falls asleep with a smile on her face, excited to wake up to Katya, her _wife_ , for real this time, the next morning. And the morning after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I would love to know what you thought about this! I'm also on tumblr [@dykegoblins](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dykegoblins) so come harass me!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I'm very excited for the rest of this story, I had a lot of fun writing it! I'm on tumblr [@dykegoblins](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dykegoblins) come talk to me!


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